Lullaby for the broken
by Mae'side
Summary: There were too many grey skies, but he swore to make them bright again. "I'm just...dedicated to my cause," he said, "and I'm going to save you." Merlin&Arthur friendship, angst and suspense. chapter 6 is up! XO, as always
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Hi everyone! Here I am again, with another story. As usual, it's about Merlin & Arthur's friendship in a time of danger. This time, however, it's not Merlin who's in danger, or let me say this : the one who's MAINLY in danger - it's Arthur. You'll see what I mean in a minute. I really hope you'll like this story, it's steadily growing in my mind. I love it already. I hope you will too.**

**Please let me know what you think? It truly, _truly_ means everything to me.**

**XO, as always  
Mae'side**

Merlin

The place he had once lived was not his home anymore. The realization of that simple and pure fact struck him harshly and inside himself, a canyon was created. There was a distance between himself and these trees, these houses and these men, one that he wasn't sure could ever be bridged. His eyes sought out the evening sky and he knew it was the same in Camelot – these were the same stars that guided him through life. It brought neverending comfort.

He had returned to Ealdor to celebrate his mother's birthday. Once a year, Arthur would set him free for about a week, so he could come back here and revisit the life he had once lived. It was strange how a sense of loss enveloped him, how he craved to be back inside those castle walls. Of course he was happy to see his mother and his old friends, but this place was an empty shell of what had been. Warm, but hollow.

He wondered about Gaius, imagined his foster father eating his dinner at their old wooden table all by himself, looking up and finding nothing. No one. He imagined his room that lay there empty, beckoning his body to lay down on his more-or-less comfortable bed. Most of all, he thought of Arthur. Strangely enough, the idea of anyone else looking out for him filled him with the stabbing emotion of jealousy and envy. He didn't know if Arthur even cared who served him, as long as the food was decent enough and the chores neatly done, but he secretely hoped he did.

"Merlin?" His mother walked out to the garden where he stood, the warm blanket wrapped around her shoulders. He did not feel the cold – in fact, he felt more at ease than ever. _These stars_… "It's cold outside." The palm of her hand sheltered his arm from the temperature as she ran it up and down his bare flesh, delivering warmth and familiarity.

"They're so beautiful."

She smiled a little, her face illuminated by the faint light of their neighbour's torches. "Are they the same?"

"Yes." His voice nearly broke on the one word of affirmation. It held all his loneliness, all his despair. In Ealdor, he could be whoever he wanted to be…he was able to practise magic and live free inside the comfort of their hut…yet he craved the confining walls of the castle. He missed his home and the people who lived there. "They're exactly the same."

"I'm glad you're here, Merlin." She pulled her son into her tight embrace, letting her love fall over him like cold water on a hot summer day. "I know you would rather be somewhere else."

"No." Whatever else was going on with him, he would make sure his mother knew she was loved, that she knew she meant everything to him. He distanced himself from her to be able to look into her eyes. "I love you, mother. There is no place I would rather be."

His forehead fell against her own, their breaths mingling in the crisp night sky. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Not tonight."

Arthur

Once a year, Merlin would leave him. A few days without the familiar ramblings, the nonsense and pure idiocy that surrounded him day after day, for quite some time now, would remain. He should feel glad to get rid of it, but the truth was that he just… he missed that. All of it.

Not that he would EVER breathe a word of this – to anyone! - but this unfamiliar servant, who was absolutely brilliant at everything he did, who never failed, unnerved him. Worse than that, he couldn't even yell for no reason. Merlin was able to deal with his mood swings, but men like these would break at even the smallest hint of his anger. He had to admire Merlin for his patience.

Again : not that he'd know. Most of the time, he was mean or rude to his faithful servant, although there were the odd times where he could do something nice, pick up on Merlin's worries and try to ease them, at least temporarily. He supposed Merlin knew, at those times, that he was more than a servant…he was a friend.

If he hadn't been, Merlin would have ended up in the stocks a lot more often than he had already.

He was up before the servant woke him and spent his time looking up at the ceiling, trying to search for hidden meanings in the patterns on the silk. He found none today.

"My lord." The stand-in Merlin bowed deeper than the real one ever had, his desire to please his prince overriding any self indulgence. "I've brought you breakfast."

"Thank you." His mind was spinning as he tried to sit upright, but he wrote it off as remainders of his sleep. He had, after all, done nothing productive since the moment he opened his eyes and his body was not accustomed to laziness once it had awoken.

It was only when his stomach turned for the worse and his legs felt numb, yet painful at the same time, that he started to think of other possible explanations. It wasn't until he crumbled to the floor several minutes later, that he knew something was wrong.

-

When he opened his eyes again, Gaius was there, his brow furrowed in worry – a clear sign that he was wrecking his brain for any possible explanation. The image of Merlin disappeard as suddenly as it had appeared in his mind's eye, the likeness to Gaius undeniable, even though they were not related in any way.

"What's happening to me?"

It was apparent that Gaius had not expected Arthur to be conscious, for he almost darted away from his bedside. Arthur could almost hear the pounding of his heart and was sorry for having scared him so. "Tell me what's wrong."

Dark clouds filled Gaius' nearly ancient orbs, their color turning darker almost instantly. "I'm afraid I do not know, my lord. I've rarely seen anything like this." He sat down again, his behind invading the space Arthur's bed provided him with only slightly, afraid of offending the prince in any way. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel.." Yes, how _did_ he feel? It was nearly impossible to explain, but all he knew was that his body, once powerful with strength and vigor, was failing him. The crown prince had been reduced to a pathetic heap of frailty, and he hated it with every breath in his body. He told the physician where it hurt the most, watching his expression changing from bad to worse. The unthinkable filled his mind.

"Do you think I'll survive?"

"Of course you will." Gaius discared the idea, but the lingering slumber of doubt in his eyes told Arthur all he needed to know. "I will need to run some tests, if you don't mind."

Arthur shook his head weakly and even though he felt as if he were on fire, the flames only broke down everything inside of him : a destructive path to nothingness. Yet when Gaius stood, he reached out faster than a lightning bolt, surprised at his own reflexes, and he pressed the tips of his fingers deep into the old man's wrist, feeling the erratic pulse beat underneath the paper skin.

"I don't want Merlin to find out about this."

Apprehensive. There was no other word to describe what he saw in Gaius' face. As Merlin's foster father, he would no doubt have his son's best interest at heart, and of course Arthur knew Merlin would hate him for not speaking of his illness, for not sending word. But he didn't want to worry his friend – and if he died by the hand of this unknown enemy, he wanted Merlin's last image to be that of the man who had stood on the high castle walls, watching his friend gallop away into the forest.

"With all due respect, sire, I think he would want to know."

Arthur closed his eyes briefly. "I know."

"I believe that if you don't let him say goodbye he will carry it with him forever." Gaius spoke the truth Arthur was so willing to deny. The words he wanted to keep hidden in his mind, the ones he had hoped never to hear again. Of course he needed to say goodbye.

But it would be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He feared it.

"I trust you, Gaius." He finally said. "And I will let you do what you think is necessary."

Merlin

When he saw the first flash of red, his whole body tensed though he remained standing. The gold pattern on the cape, beautiful and gracious against the silver of the chainmail, was so elegant and graceful, and he had never feared it. Until now.

He recognized the man even before he came within ten feet of him. The knight was sir Leon, one of the bravest and most trustworthy men of Camelot's royal guard… and he was here today.

"I bear news of Camelot." He spoke, his voice formal and full of thunderous omens. "The crown prince has been taken ill. Your presence has been requested at the royal court."

* * *

_Oh, PLEASE tell me what you think? It would mean the world to me._

_XO, as always  
Mae'side_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : Hi everyone! This has been a long time a-comin', and I'm sorry it took me so long. Real life has been really hectic, and now that my exams are coming up in january, I'm not sure if I'll have a lot of time to write. I promise you now, I'll do my very best. Promise! **

**I'm also not so sure about this chapter, so if you could please tell me if you like it or not? Please, it would mean a lot to me. Especially now.**

**Xo, as always  
Mae'side**

Merlin

It was cold as they advanced deep into the forest, the white glow of the horse's flank cutting through the darkness, flying past the trees. Had it not been for his companion, Merlin would be searching for a way… any way… to get home sooner. He had been driving his stallion to its limit, he had been aching with distress. But it was not enough, it was never _enough_. Leon called from behind when Merlin's animal tripped, nearly causing them both to fall into the brownish soil, into the dirt that seemed too heavy, too rough. The warning fell on deaf ears and, he noticed, came from far behind.

His escort had explained how Arthur had fallen to the floor, how the pain spread through his body and…how clueless Gaius was. Immediately, he had felt the sky crushing him and tearing at his limbs. He had not been there. He had failed his friend.

And so he would not rest until he reached him, he would not sleep nor eat nor drink, until he was back home. Arthur would know he'd come back. Merlin would make sure they were safe again.

-

There were guards outside the door. Strong and silent creatures who did not meet his eyes, afraid to show even the smallest glimps of their darkest hour. It was as if a clock was counting down the minutes until it came. Until he'd be gone.

An arm reached out and pressed against his heaving chest. "It might be contagious." They didn't speak his name and chances were they didn't even know it. He was not important enough to be remembered as an individual wrapped up in a single word. He didn't mind, because to them, he was _Arthur's servant_, and that's who he would always be.

"I don't care." He reached for the handle, anxious to be by Arthur's side, and stepped inside.

Arthur

He opened his eyes slowly, the heavy, painfilled lids pushing upwards with the greatest of efforts. He blinked into the soft morning light that was harsher than usual, more colourful and dazzling. He was not accustomed to it anymore. The light, the sounds and the blistering heat that raged through his broken body. It was all too much.

Gaius was there again, faithful as always and on a neverending search for the answer, praying it would somehow be written on his skin in clear, fine print. _Dying, _it would say. _Cause unknown._

But another night had passed and still he had not perished. Which was, after all, a good sign. Three hundred nights like these and he make it through the year.

Even through this misty haze of pain and fear, he could tell the moment something changed. Voices murmured outside the door and Gaius' fingers stilled above his body, the old man's ears straining to hear the sound that had entered his chambers through the smallest of cracks. His mouth twitched a little in relief, a faint uprising of its corners.

"Merlin, which part of _it might be contagious_ don't you understand?" The physician sounded more than a little amused as he looked at his foster son. Of course he'd known Merlin would come running, and that he wouldn't care about any danger or safety protocol. He was stupid enough to risk his own life for the sake of others.

His hurried steps moved him closer to the bed and now Arthur could not only hear the new arrival, he could also see his servant coming towards them. Merlin's eyebrows shot up in feigned surprise. "Contagious? Right." He smacked his lips ostentatiously. "Since I'm here anyway, I might as well stay, don't you agree, Gaius?"

Gaius smiled and silently excused himself – no doubt because he wanted Arthur to explain what had happened himself, leaving him to do the dirty work. He sighed softly, a small murmur being all that he could manage. "You're an idiot, Merlin."

"Well," the answer was cheerful, Merlin's eyes lighting up as he spoke. He was trying to play pretend and for now, Arthur didn't object to that at all. He craved for something to make it seem okay. "some might say I am. Others would say I'm just.._incredibly dedicated to my mission._" He gave his friend a cheeky smile.

"Your… mission."

"I'm going to save you."

Arthur chuckled, but it wasn't light or even funny. His whole body convulsed when the shock ripped through him, his face becoming flushed for a second before returning to the ghostly pale color it had been. Merlin immediately darted forward and gently eased him back against his pillows.

The once so pure blue eyes, now clouded with pain, looked into his. "You do realize that every word that comes out of your mouth is more ridiculous than the last?"

Merlin

"Really? That's strange. I was just about to say what a good prince you are." He shrugged. "Well, it explains a lot."

His finger prodded the space between them. "No. THAT I want to hear."

"Sorry." Merlin sang. "The window of opportunity has officially closed." He reached for the damp cloth that lay in the blue bowl next to the bed and wiped it across Arthur's brow, hoping to ease his fever. "You're a prat, Arthur."

"Of course I am." He blew a string of air between his lips and for some reason, it seemed to him as if it died the minute it escaped his body. Free, at last. "What did I do this time?"

"It's what you _didn't do_." He released the object in his hands and shifted on the bed, forcing Arthur to look at him. "You weren't going to tell me."

Arthur turned away, causing the sun to cast its rays upon his dirty blond hair. It clung to his forehead. "Didn't see why I should."

Merlin let out one breath, harsh and clear, though the air that passed between his lips made them tremble. "You didn't see that?"

Arthur

"What _good_ would it have done, Merlin? You would be worried, helpless, and most likely blame yourself for not being here."

"I'm not helpless."

"You _are_, Merlin. Gaius doesn't know what it is and.. I'll.." he paused, thinking of how best to explain this to this fragile friend of his. No sense in making Merlin any more terrified than he probably already was, he searched for a way to explain. He was reminded of the time when they went off together to save Gwen, and the giant..baby..rats they had encountered. "well, it's not looking good."

"You're not going to die, Arthur." His voice was soft and soothing, but at the same time it was more powerful than any order his father had ever issued. He couldn't help but stay silent and listen, completely. "I'm going to make sure of that."

Merlin

He'd tried to stay strong when he was falling apart on the inside. He knew Arthur hadn't fallen for it, but had also felt his gratefulness. Despite what he had said, a small part of Merlin believed that Arthur actually liked the fact that he was here, trying to make him laugh by declaring to save him.

What he didn't know was that his servant was more serious about this than he had been about anything else in his entire life. He would not let Arthur die, and while he climbed the step to the attic, he begged for Gaius to have an answer.

"I've hardly ever seen this kind of disease before, Merlin. It is affecting everything inside of him, eating him from the inside." Gaius treaded softly, trying not to upset him. But that was not important right now, for he would gladly be upset if it meant Gaius had found the source of this illness… and the cure.

"You know what it is?"

Gaius nodded and Merlin felt his legs sagging with relief. He listened to Gaius with clear intent as the physician had explained how the illness was a result of a poisoning of the worst kind, a nearly intraceable demon that hid inside whatever it could feed on. It had not come here by itself, Gaius told him. Someone had deliberately tried to poison Arthur.

He knew it was all dangerous and that battle was not won. But Merlin only heard the good news, he heard the answer to his prayers. They knew what this was and they would conquer it. They would.

Through hell and high water. He would save his friend.

* * *

_Oh, please... please tell me what you think? It would mean everything to me!!_

_XO, as always  
Mae'side_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N : Hi everyone! Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter, I know it had been a while since I updated, so it's really amazing to get reviews showing you still care. Here's the third chapter, which I am considerably more happy about than the second one. Oh, and good news! I had a dream about where this story is going and I'm really excited to get to that point. SO, hopefully I'll get to write more soon...**

**Please let me know what you think? It means everything to me!**

**XO, as always  
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

Merlin

It was nearly nightfall when he returned to the prince's chambers, with a heart that felt lighter somehow, for he had a clear sense of purpose, a plan that would make it all okay. He would save Arthur, even if it meant he would be putting his own life at risk.

He thought back to the day they had first met and shook his head in disbelief. Had someone told him at that time that the prat torturing that poor servant would become just about everything to him, he would have laughed in their faces. But here they were and right now, there was no one he cared about more than this stupid, overbearing and still_-slightly- _arrogant prince.

Who would never let him leave if he found out where his journey was taking him.

Gaius had already tried to talk him out of it, even though he knew it was his destiny to remain by Arthur's side and to try and save his royal backside at least twice a week. The deep lines above his eyes had wrinkled together in a heavy frown, his eyes darkening with all the possible scenarios and outcomes that ran through his head. Eventually, he had understood that there was no other way to save their prince – nothing else that would drive away that morbid shadow of death that was claiming his life.

He pushed open the doors to Arthur's chambers as he had done a million times before, but this time he had to pull himself together before he entered. Arthur would be laying there, pale and yet burning with fever – unlike all those other times, when he was confident and strong. Stronger than any man Merlin had ever encountered. If there was one person who could make it through, it would be… At least, that's what he told himself.

"I'm back," he cheerfully announced, walking over to the bed and carefully placing his hand across the prince's forehead to get a sense of his fever. It was still glowing with heat. "Don't worry," he continued. "I don't expect you to tell me you've missed me."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Good."

His heart constricted. There was no fire in those eyes, no sense of aliveness whatsoever. He was barely hanging on. "I just came to tell you that I'm leaving, and… I'll try to be back as soon as I can."

Arthur

For some reason, the idea of Merlin leaving – only temporarily – caused tidalwaves of both relief and fear to crash into him. He knew he hadn't wanted Merlin here in the first place and he certainly did not want Merlin to watch him die, but he actually enjoyed his friend's company. He made it better, somehow, just by talking rubbish and being that incredibly annoying state of pretend happy.

"By all means…take your time." He said, then lightly added, "Just don't expect me to wait for you."

"Arthur.." Damn it. He heard the sadness creep into Merlin's voice and he hated it. He hated having to say goodbye and sugarcoat it with laughter and silly jokes. But he needed them to make sure he didn't break down. "I want you to promise me you're not going anywhere until I get back."

How could he promise such a thing without feeling like a liar, feeling like a fraud?

"Merlin.."

"Promise me." It was just a whisper, but those two words were filled with such…fear and was nearly impossible to turn away, or say something different than what eventually tumbled from his lips.

"Fine." He amended. "Where are you going?"

Merlin

_This_ was the part he had tried to avoid. "I'm just going out for a while. There's nothing to worry about." The very second after he'd spoken those last words, Arthur's look turned suspicious. They'd been a mistake, he realised now, overkill. Not good.

Arthur's brow wrinkled. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing!" Merlin tried to look completely relaxed as he smiled and shrugged a little. "Really, Arthur, you're seeing things. It's probably the fever."

Sometimes playing Arthur for a fool worked, and the prince would simply drop the matter. This was not one of those times. Arthur turned his head completely to be able to regard his servant fully, sizing him up. He sighed. "Merlin, I always know when you're hiding things. Tell me."

"I figured out a way to save you," he bravely stated, then smacked his lips. "..but I'd have to go into the mountains of Erinead to do it."

"No."

"I wouldn't be gone a long time," he tried to reason with Arthur, "I would be back before you know it."

"FIRSTLY you'd have to go through Odin's territory," Arthur sounded more powerful and eager to fight this decision with every word he said, and Merlin was actually happy to hear him like this. Yet he wished he wouldn't say _these_ words. He was well aware of the danger he'd be walking into, and Arthur wouldn't be able to stop him anyway. "_Provided_ you survived that, those mountains are _filled_ with creatures who will as soon eat you as look at you. You're not going, Merlin."

"You can't stop me."

Arthur's mouth moved wordlessly as he struggled to find a way to make sure Merlin wasn't going anywhere. "I'm not going to let you die for me."

"That's not your decision to make."

"That's an end to it, Merlin!" For someone as fragile in weakness as he was, his anger and conviction was pretty astonishing. Hooray. "You're not going."

Merlin had to smile a little at the demanding tone…and the familiarity of this situation. He'd heard that sentence many a time before in the throne room when Arthur spoke with Uther. Only this time, it wasn't the prince who stood up to his father, it was Merlin who stood up to him. He grinned. "You sound like the king."

"Well," Arthur let out the breath that, in all his ranting, he had forgotten to release. "I am my father's son."

"Right." Merlin told him. "And I'm your friend. I'm going."

-

Arthur

That…._idiot!_ While Arthur knew that if the situation had been reversed he would probably head out to those hills anyway, it was another matter entirely when Merlin volunteered for the job. Sure, he _had_ learned some skills during the time he was Arthur's sparring partner, but not enough to survive when danger arrived at his doorstep. Certainly not enough to walk this road alone.

But he knew his friend was stubborn and that he would not back down from this fight. The prince supposed he'd always been that way, even when he was younger. Merlin certainly never had any trouble with it – even when his ideas were insane, which…they usually were.

"Get one of my knights to come with you. And for heaven's sake, put on some chainmail this time. I mean it."

Chainmail would sparkle in the sunlight. The metallic grey color would just attract more attention – of course Arthur knew this. But just speaking these demands out loud made the terrifying sense of worry quiet a little. "…and call Gaius in, will you? And sir Leon. I need to speak with them."

Merlin stood from the bed, nearly causing Arthur's body to roll over at the place that had just been vacated. He desperately wanted to fill it up and pretend some more. "I'll see you soon, Arthur."

"Right." His answer was but a faint murmur in the room, not even strong enough to reach the place where Merlin stood, his fingers gripping the handle already announcing his departure.

"Merlin!" he called out to him. This had to be said, damn the consequences. If Merlin would tease him about going soft, he swore to God he'd blame it on the illness. "Be careful."

Merlin nodded..  
and left.

* * *

_Oh, pleaaase tell me what you think? It would mean so much to me!! Everything! AND I'll give you hugs and cookies! Merry christmas, everyone._

_Mae'side_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : Hi everyone, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. If it makes you feel any better, it's been horrible for me not being able to write. But here I am again, and I hope I can update sooner in the future. I think it will, because the story is really going somewhere now (you can feel where I'm going with this, eh?) - - a quest! Hurray, hurray!! Now, I really hope you'll like how it turns out, it's kind of the direction this story has been going towards from before I put the first word down. (I know you may be a little confused now, but if you read the chapter it'll become more clear, I promise).**

**Please, please PLEASE let me know what you think? I need to know you haven't forgotten about me or this story! You'll receive virtual hugs and cookies!! (grins)**

**Xo as always,  
Mae'side**

Merlin

Merlin wished he could feel more confident today – the way he had felt the minute he had heard of Arthur's fate. He needed the clarity and the strength, but all he knew as he stepped out onto the courtyard was that nothing was certain today. Looking at the dawning sky, he could almost smell the forecast of rain, which made it all the worse to leave today. Then his eyes skipped over to the high windows of his best friend's chamber and realization struck him like a swift blade. He needed to do this.

He only turned to saddle his horse for one minute and yet he didn't notice the man who came to rest beside him, ever so silent and yet – once discovered – acutely _there_. He looked apologetic when their gazes met and spoke softly so he would not disturb the silence that reigned across this oasis of air and calm, so unlike the moment Merlin had first stepped foot in this place. "The prince has ordered me not to leave your side."

Merlin rolled his lips inward. For some reason, he couldn't decide if this made him happy because it meant Arthur cared, or just immensely frustrated (but the latter sounded good). Whatever sentiment was called for, one thing was certain. He needed to get away from Sir Leon, or his magic and all that came with it would be of no use at all. And going by what Gaius had said just before he left this morning, he would need it.

The older man had shuffled over to where his foster son was packing for the most dangerous quest he'd ever been on, and the helplessness that came over him was equal to none. Merlin tried not to make a big fuss of it, but he felt it all right. After spending as much time with Gaius as he had, you just couldn't _not_ realize these things. He remembered reading that letter Gaius had left when he travelled to the Isle of the Blessed to sacrifice himself in Merlin's place and all the hugs and talks and wisdom. Despite never having known his father, Gaius was the next best thing.

He'd told Merlin of an alliance that had taken refuge in the mountains, a brotherhood of sorcerers that made up the most powerful force of magic known to this day. "The Galleyhad might be the reason Arthur's sick, Merlin – and if you face them…" he leaned in close, willing Merlin to look at him other than at his backpack that lay opened on the wooden table, "if you _must_ face them, staying alive won't be easy. They will test you."

"I'm not expecting it to be easy." He'd said, thinking of Arthur's words a few months earlier. _That's why it's called a challenge_. Finally he'd been able to look him in the eye. "I just have to save him."

Their was a hint of laughter in his voice as he spoke to Sir Leon, a chuckle that he needed to force downward. "I guess I should have expected that." Of course the faithful knight couldn't disobey a direct order from the prince and Merlin felt sort of glad that despite being Arthur's servant, somehow he had never felt forced to do something against his own wishes. Well, not these past few months, anyway. What had happened when Arthur still felt the need to teach Merlin how to walk on his knees was another matter.

Suddenly, he felt a strong craving to run up the stairs and burst into Arthur's chambers, just to see him alive one more time, to really know that there was still hope. But that would be too sentimental and it would make his departure all the more painful.

So instead he just hoisted himself onto the saddle (still pretty frustrated about the fact that Sir Leon was doing the exact same thing) and pressed his calves into the horse's flank.

_Away we go_.

Arthur

It was still a little before dawn when he woke up in cold sweat, his chest heaving and his heart longing to be free of it's cage of rib bones. He had dreamt of nothing last night, only of darkness clouded with a terrible sense of things to come. His fate would be decided over the course of the next few days and worse than that – it wasn't just _his_ life that was dangling on a string anymore.

Merlin and his foolish stubbornness, his idiotic plans to save him…if he'd had enough strength, he would have physically forced him not to leave – he'd have chained him to the dungeon walls.. or something. In any case, Merlin wouldn't ride out today.

Sir Leon was dauntless and brave, kind and caring. Merlin would probably have no trouble getting along with the man, but he _would_ have a problem with the fact that Arthur was sending him a babysitter. Well, he didn't care one bit whatsoever. It was the only way to ease his disquiet a little and he had grabbed at it like a desperate man.

Part of him wished Merlin would come say goodbye again. But when the door opened a while later, he knew it wasn't him. Gaius slowly walked inside on the tips of his toes careful not to wake the prince, hoping he would have slept through the night and that his chances of survival had improved. Fat chance.

Still, he looked relieved as he treated Arthur, pleased that the darkness hadn't made things worse. Perhaps it was the idea of Merlin going out to save him that gave him such hope, yet Arthur couldn't understand how _that_ particular suicide mission could make anyone happy.

He sighed a little, trying to draw out a conversation on the subject without seeming too eager or too concerned. It would ruin his bravado. "Don't tell me he went ahead with his 'mission' anyway.."

Gaius' shoulders grew rigid, yet he kept the tremor from his voice. "Merlin believes he can save you, my lord. I'm afraid there was no way to talk him out of it." He peered at Arthur just over the rim of his old glasses that made him look that much more intelligent and a small smile played around his lips. "I remember a time when the parts were reversed and you did the exact same thing."

Well, that was different. "With all due respect, Gaius, this is _Merlin_ we're talking about. Have you ever seen him fight? He just – sometimes I feel like he just hasn't got a _clue_!"

"You should give him more credit," Gaius pressed on, "maybe this is his way of saying thank you. You must know.." he grew silent, afraid he'd said too much now, that he'd given away some inkling of Merlin's mind that wasn't his to give.

"I must know…what?"

"You must know how much he cares for you, my lord. There is nothing he won't do to make sure you are safe again." There was a small amount of wonder or admiration in Gaius' voice, the pride of a father at the words that were mere truth.

Of course Arthur knew. He knew that his servant looked up to him, trusted him and, ridiculous as it may sound, felt a need to take care of him. To be honest, that feeling was mutual and he sometimes blamed himself for not showing Merlin all that, not speaking those words that he felt Merlin deserved to hear. In those moments, it was easy to place the responsibility at his father's feet for not having taught Arthur well in that aspect, but a grumbling feeling in the pit of his stomach told him he was at fault as well.

Speaking of stomachs, he suddenly bolted upright to empty his in the bucket that had been placed by his bedside, thanking his quick reflexes. _He hoped being Merlin's sparring partner had at least improved the boy's reflexes when it came to battle._ He hoped a lot of things.

Gaius handed him a small glass of water, urging him to drink it down and so it could make him feel at least a little better. "You should get some rest, sire. You look tired."

Merlin

The sense of purpose returned to him when he pulled out the map Gaius had drawn him at a crossroads. His brow puckered in thought and his tongue slipped in between his lips in concentration. It was a habit he had picked up – and been often scolded for – when he was a child, trying to move things just by looking at them and willing them to come his way. He could almost hear his mother's voice again.

"We have to go that way," he told his companion, "alongside the river until it winds past the mountains and then we have to.." _go into the mountains_, he'd almost said. Except, Leon wouldn't be with him when he did, so he needed to feed him a different story. "have to go a bit further and… well, we'll see when we get there." He drew in a sharp breath, trying to convince himself that it was all for the knight's safety and for his own well being. Leon was kind and Merlin could not force him to lie to his King when it came to question whether he'd known about Merlin's magic.

Merlin was just in awe. Leon seemed to have been born in the saddle, completely at ease with his current state. He was a true knight and Merlin was glad he had been the one sent by Arthur and not one of those prattish ones. Even more so when they halted for the night, because at least there would be no awkward tension in the air.

Leon told him of his desire from childhood to become a knight once he had seen their gracefulness, their complete selflessness and their all around pureness. His father had died when he had been a youngster and he and his mother had been – despite their nobility – left to fend for themselves. She was happy though, he said, and it all reminded Merlin of his own childhood. Well, except the nobility part. Then a terribly feeling grew inside and he knew he would have to break free now before it all became too difficult for him to.

"Can I ask you something?"

Arthur

His eyes fell closed without warning and yet it was not the darkness he met tonight, but a sight that was so foreign to his eyes it made no sense to dream of it (though his worry might have some hand in it). It comforted him in a way and so he decided to let it take him along, whatever the ride, wherever the destination.

Two figures sat huddled by the fire, one of them rubbing his hands together to keep the cold from entering below his skin and the other poking the fire every now and then. At first he could not hear their voices, but the more his dream claimed his tired body, the easier it became.

"Can I ask you something?" Merlin glanced over at the knight and it wasn't a mere inquisitive look, their was something calculated in the way he had spoken the words. Arthur knew him well enough by now to at least pick up on that.

Sir Leon, on the other hand, was as clueless as ever. "Just don't ask me to disobey my orders, because I can't. I won't."

Merlin smiled a little. "Arthur's lucky to have you." Leon grinned at that and a mischievous twinkle appeared in his eyes. "I could say the same for you."

"You're right." Merlin chuckled. "I'm lucky to have you, too." Whether he was really ignorant of the true meaning of the knight's statement or just played the part was hard to tell, but for some reason it hurt a little to watch him dismiss the subject in this matter.

Leon opened his mouth slightly to retort, but apparently thought better of it and said instead : "You..wanted to ask me something?"

"Yes…" He drew out the last letter, somehow wanting to appear reluctant for a reason Arthur (and Leon) could not understand. "It has to do with you being a good knight, actually. I want you to promise me that if we ever get separated or I get hurt…you will return to Camelot and take care of Arthur." When he saw the knight about to protest, he spoke quickly. "Please…" he said, "I want to know that if anything should happen, at least you'll be with him - I trust you." The words came out in a rush, a string of words so rapidly spoken they seemed to be a mere flash of lightning.

Leon shook his head. "I can't… he.. he told me to stay with you."

"If we get separated, it probably won't be because of something you did. You won't have disobeyed him, in fact going back to protect him is the only thing you can do." Merlin silently begged. He was so pushy tonight and even though Arthur would have snapped something already, Leon was patient and he said.

"I promise you I'll protect him any way I can."

"Thanks.." His servant finally threw down the stick he'd been using to poke the fire. His jaw was clenched, Arthur noticed, meaning he was trying to hide something but was afraid he would give himself away. So he just turned his face to the evening sky and murmured "It looks like rain tonight."

Arthur opened his eyes the minute the first raindrops fell.

* * *

_Oh, please please please tell me what you think? I'll hug you like crazy and give you cookies if you do!_

_Xo, as always  
Mae'side_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N : hi everyone! I want to thank each and every one of you for reading this and for the reviews you've left on the last chapter! Golly gee, some of you were quite inventive about the way Merlin was going to escape Leon. (giggles) I made things a bit less dramatic. Now, I really hope you like this chapter, personally I have a bit mixed feelings about it. **

**Please let me know what you think?? It would mean so much to me - the world! the universe! - **

**Xo, as always  
Mae'side**

Arthur

He spend a good part of the next day trying to convince himself that it had all been a dream, brought on by the knowledge that his friend and one of his finest knights were out on a quest together. Gaius had once spoken of dreams finding their origin in random facts that had happened during the daytime. Our mind translated them to a night time journey, exploring the what if's and would be's that might come to pass. Arthur supposed his dream last night was no different from all the others, yet he found he had a lot of trouble trying to shake it, the words and surroundings so acutely engraved in his mind, the habits of these dreamlike characters so like the truth.

His rational state of mind did not return to him as he gazed across the empty courtyard, watching the left out stacks of hay accept the rain into their mazes. He leaned his head against his hand when a tremor caused him to lose his balance, acutely aware of the fact that his health had not returned to him. It was a long way gone.

Their was a hesitant knock upon the door, and somehow Arthur understood that the moment his visitor entered the chamber, a sense of… something… would come crashing down on him. At this time, he both dreaded and longed for it.

It was the one person who held the power of shattering his hopes of pretense and unveil the truth, whatever it may be. Poor Sir Leon was drenched to bone and, it seemed, terrified to face him. When he was younger, he had always found it strange that men twice his age showed him a sense of respect beyond all compare, like he was somehow their superior just by being who he was. Then his father had explained it all and over the years he had learnt not to pay attention to this fearfulness anymore. Yet it still nagged at him, especially now. But he didn't say anything about it. He just kept quiet and listened to the words the messenger spoke.

"I'm sorry, sire." Leon began. "Merlin's gone."

Merlin

He did not mind the rain today, because it allowed him to escape without leaving any tracks. The wind was harsh against his face, though, and he would've rather the weather gods had left _that_ particular element aside.

Wearing the same clothes he always wore did not nothing to help either. Naturally, he had not listened to Arthur when the prince ordered him to wear a set of chainmail and he was pretty sure that he'd made the right decision on that account. The heavy armour would only slow him down and it would be all to easy to guess his intentions. Of course, that was nothing new to Arthur. Still he had insisted – and Merlin had not followed the advice. Hence…he was freezing.

The adrenaline that coursed through his veins made it a little easier and the speed with which his horse moved spurred him on as could feel the animal's heat rising up from the skin, like a warm geyser.

It was that sensation that soothed him while his thoughts dwelled on Arthur. He had begged for something – anything! – to come to him last night, even if it was a mere rush of emotion, even if it was pain. At least he would know his friend to be alive. But there was nothing but emptiness when he lay on the cold ground, waiting for sleep to overtake him.

Eventually, he had given up on trying and instead focussed on trying to get rid of his escort. Drawing a piece of paper from his 'survival kit', he had written two letters before folding the parchment and neatly writing their names. When he wrote Arthur's, he had to stop his hand from there was another way, he might have taken it – but it was so important that he went alone … if the Galleyhad noticed his companion, they would murder him without a moment's thought. And he couldn't bear the thought of that.

Careful not to disturb Leon in any way that might cause him to wake up, he faintly mumbled a spell that would keep him knocked out until morning and put out the fireplace that had provided him with the light he had required to actually _see_ what he was doing.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking around one last time. "I have to go."

Arthur

"What do you _mean_, he's gone?" He was raging on like a wildfire that had just been started, grasping at anything that could make this _not be true._ "Did I not specifically ask you never to lose sight of him?" His heart was pounding like never before, the rapid beat echoing throughout his entire body. _thump thump_.

The knight fiddled with a small piece of paper clutched between his fingers, before shyly handing it over to Arthur. It was unmistakably written by the hand of Merlin…and it had his name on top. Agonizingly slowly, he unfolded the corners and read.

_Arthur,_ it said, _don't be too hard on him, because really, it was me who tricked him. This may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I can be stealthy.  
__Remember the promise you made._

Putting the short note on the bedside table – not wanting to be reminded of those last words – he instead focused on finding a solution to all of this. "Tell me everything you can remember."

-

He almost wished he hadn't asked. Because every word that passed through Leon's lips was a painful reminder of his dream last night, a confirmation that somehow – through some mystical reason - he could tell exactly what was happening to Merlin while he was away. Yet he wouldn't surrender that easily. He frowned (Leon flinched in response) and swallowed hard, past the built up sorrow in his throat. "Surely that's not what happened?"

"I swear on my mother's life," the knight told him. "this is what came to pass."

Merlin

In this pouring rain, and besides his quest and all that came with it, the only thought that entered his mind was snow. Rather, the absense of it in Camelot. There was a great lack of whiteness in winter, but somehow that didn't matter, because it was always cold enough to make you awake of the season you were in.

He thought of snow and found himself wishing for the heavy raindrops to turn into soft white cushions that fell lightly on the tip of his nose and cloaked all in beauty and peace. No such luck. As it was, his clothes were drenched and they stuck to his body, making it almost impossible to will away the cold, to _think happy thoughts_ and be in complete denial about wanting to whimper like a small child.

At least Arthur was safely inside. That was the only comfort today, along with the fact that he now knew Leon to be by his side. Arthur would have gotten his small letter. There had been so many things he'd wanted to say, but in the end the sharp pen only scribbled the most meaningless words onto the paper, a short explanation on why his most trusted knight had failed the mission. Only the last sentense truly meant something. The prince would know it did.

Arthur

What a fool he was. At least, he felt like it. Leaning against the headboard, he was staring aimlessly at Merlin's small message like it was his only lifeline, the only thing that kept him going through all the hurt. The fever was still raging on and nothing had improved since the last time Gaius had come in to check his progress. He'd all but forced Arthur to take a herbal remedy that would make him calm again, for he'd never been that wound up. _Ever._

He looked out to the storm that was so violent. Unable to see three feet in front, and the knowledge that his servant was out in this kind of weather, made the anxiety even worse and he felt a rush of heat move across his skin . The prince rested his eyes for a minute, oddly enough wanting the darkness to show him another scene. An incredibly thirst for another vision.

But he was awoken by the entrance of a young girl, her eyes kind yet terrified and the bowl in her hands held so tightly Arthur wondered how it could still be intact. She was looking down at the ground, a warm shawl wrapped around her shoulders, making her look both elegant and fragile at the same time. He could have recognized her from miles away. He would have known her with his eyes closed. _Guinevere._

"I'm sorry it took me so long," she apologized. "But apparantly _someone_ had warned the guards not to let me enter." Ah, right. Yes, that would be him. "I am angry with you, Arthur!" She didn't sound the part, her voice filled with despair, but he could understand it if she were.

There was no way to explain this to her, but he would try. If this was the last time he'd see her, he would make it count. "I had my reasons," he told her and he saw her nod.

"I'm sure you did," she said, making him smile a little at the venom in her words.

"Guinevere," he began, treasuring the way her name tasted on his tongue, "I _don't_ want you to see me…die." If he had expected her to recoil in fear and to leave his side as quickly as she possibly could, he'd been mistaken. But then again, he'd known she would stay, and that was what frightened him the most. Slowly fading away was hard enough, but knowing she would carry that burden every step of the way made it worse. So much worse.

"Well," she bravely stated, "you're not going to die, Arthur, so you need to stop being ridiculous." She lay her hand across his own, noticed the small crumpled paper he still held, but asked no questions. Instead, she directed her gaze to the rain and sighed a little. "I can't believe Merlin's out there."

He didn't say anything, but knew he didn't need to. "Are you worried about him?"

Arthur exhaled sharply. "He's an idiot."

She laughed, the first _real_ sound to be heard in his chambers ever since Merlin had left. "I'll take that as a yes."

-

That night he saw Merlin leaning against a tree, almost melting into his surroundings. It was hard to see him through the curtain of rain that fell all around, but he could distinguish the heap of wet sticks resting by his feet. Apparently, Merlin hoped the make shift shelter he'd built would somehow allow him to warm himself and he rearranged he pile, his hands hovering over the structure.

"_Bearne."_

* * *

_Please tell me what you think? I know I ended with a bit of a cliffie there, but I'll make it up to you by sending you virtual cookies! I promise I will.  
Xo, as always_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : Hello, my darlings.. So sorry it's been such a long time since I've updated, but life has been pretty rough. Amongst other things, I was one of the passengers who were forced to extend their stay in a foreign country because of the volcano eruption in Iceland. But oh, it's so good to be back home. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the previous chapter, and to everyone who has put this story on alert or favourited it. You are the greatest, and I've missed you.**

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter? I really really really hope you'll like it! **

**Xo, as always  
Mae'side**

Merlin

Night had fallen and the embers had died out, but warmth had never been here tonight. The strangest bit of it was that the _real_ cold front had swept in just after he had lit the fire. It was the most terrible of tremors to run down his spine, to make the small hairs on his forearm stand up in awareness. Immediately, he had feared for Arthur's life – and the _not knowing_ was worse than any pain he might feel upon learning of the prince's fate.

He had relied upon the nearness of his friend so much, for whenever Arthur had been in danger, he, at least, had been right beside him – to see and feel and prevent the danger, from whatever corner it might jump out at them. He couldn't battle anything here between these trees, beside his horse! Nothing but thin air.. no way to know if Arthur was okay, because his magic failed him in this aspect : no matter how hard he tried to concentrate, he could not call upon a vision to take shape before his eyes. He was just as lost as Arthur was and probably in worse ways.

"Not that I don't trust _you_." He'd gotten up by now and gently patted the horses neck. "You're just not that talkative." And, according to Arthur, rambling is what he did best in times of trouble. Though in this scenario the fear seemed to override anything else and there was only silence. Loneliness. He sighed, glancing at the stars before mounting the horse and abandoning yet another fireplace.

This time, he left nothing behind.

Arthur

Part of him wanted to deny what he had seen. Just write it off as a momentary lapse of concentration that had caused him to see something that had not – that could not have – happened, or blame it on a sorceror trying to mess with his mind. It was the inch of truth that made the lie believable. Leon confirming his dream to be a true vision was the catalyst, the one thing that changed it all.

But he could not.

Blame it on the illness, blame it on his failing heart, but somehow he _knew _that what he had seen was a soundless reflection of the truth, nothing deformed, nothing false. The knowledge made him nauseous, his fever soaring. The feeling of betrayal, of steady ground turning into emptiness, was not something that he could suppress lightly.

He hung from the ledge of a bottomless pit and just like a little over a year ago, he swore he could hear the horrible clicking sound of spider's legs, of an enemy that would surely bring the end of everything he had known.

And then there was light.

It felt like being struck by lightning (or so he supposed) when his own words came back to haunt him. For he had told his father of a guardian angel that must be watching over him, keeping him from harm. All these strange events that had led him to this moment suddenly crashed into him like a brick wall tumbling down – all stones fell at once, the scenes all blurring, one into the other, until he closed his eyes in pain.

_Merlin_.

That _stupid idiot _had never left his side, though God knows Arthur had given him plenty of reasons to leave. Merlin was always..saving him, it seemed. And he'd been a fool not to notice any of it. Yet how could he blame himself for not having seen what Merlin must have been trying so hard to keep from him? The idea of his servant – his supposed friend! - having a secret life not to be shared with him was just… it made him so…torn. He hated the fact that while he would have strangled the boy had he been by his side right now, he _also_ feared anything that might hurt him.

If he'd had the strength, he would have thrown something, only to watch it shatter against these walls that comforted him so much. But until he regained that power, he would do what he could.

The pieces of paper fell to the cold floor as he tore the short letter apart.

Merlin

He could tell he was almost at his journey's end when he felt their presence all around him, like a hovering sense of doom. It made the air quiver and his horse grew restless in this sudden heat. The stars were still above them and the dark was still reigning the sky, but for all they knew it could be a blistering heat from the afternoon sun.

He was not surprised to see the stone circle as a center of power, hidden in these mountains, because for some reason he had expected a sacred site. The Galleyhad were powerful and many in number, Gaius had told him. Twelve sorcerers to form a mighty clan that could – if they wanted to – destroy him without having to blink twice.

But he had also expected an erratic pounding of his heart and an inability to swallow properly. And these vital signs were not present, which made him wonder if he was even still alive or if by some miracle, he had entered a dreamworld unscathed. This strange sense of calm was so unlike him that it seemed unreal.

There was someone waiting for him when he arrived, in a cloak worn so tightly around his body it seemed to make up the entire substance of this man, who hid his eyes from the starlight and left only the thin line of his mouth for the moonlight to play upon. It curled into a small smirk when Merlin neared him, the horse abandoned at a random tree (and Lord, he couldn't even recall doing that!). It was like magnetism, like a unconscious force pushed him to the center of the circle.

"What do you want from me?"

Arthur

His eyes closed out of their own accord, the helplessness of having no control whatsoever over his body frustrating and terrifying. Something was happening to him – to both of them – and for some reason, it was decided that he needed to witness every second of it.

The first thing he noticed was the blistering heat. His fever did not cause this, it was in the air all around the two figures that stood amongst the tall rocks, just … staring. Sizing the other up as if it was the only thing that mattered in the entire world, as if _that_ would end wars all over the lands.

"What do you want from me?"

He sounded strangely confident and somewhere deep down, Arthur was surprised and thrilled. He felt a strange sense of pride because – it might not be so – he felt he had been the one to make Merlin stronger through exercise and quarreling, in between the maces and the fights. Speaking of, there was no sword in sight. Not _that_ kind of battle, then.

"What I want you cannot give me." The voice resembled that of a small child between the age of fourteen and seventeen, and when the hood went down to reveal a young face, Arthur doubted the youth was much older than that. "But I _can_ take something in return."

He stepped closer to his prey - just an inch - clearly hoping his opponent would back down. But he stood tall, that servant of his, and he did not even flinch. His voice was like the low hissing of a snake when he spoke again. "Let me ask you something, Merlin. _You_, the one they've always talked about. Do you know who I am?"

"No."

"I am not…_important enough_ to you?"

Merlin smacked his lips lightly, a sound so silent that it should not have been reproduced by the particles in the air but because of this specific place, it seemed almost like a battlecry. "I never said that. You asked me if I knew you and I told you that I didn't. There is no fault in that and if I have offended you then I'm sorry." He looked pale, Arthur noticed. Strong and calm, but pale.

The boy laughed in his face, a harsh, mirthless sound that echoed against the trees. "You pretend to be kind to me, but did you care about the lives you destroyed allthose months ago? Did you think of her family when you killed her?"

Merlin

The matter of fact way in which he stated it shook him almost as much as the implication of those words. It all made so much more sense now, the familiarity of those eyes and that pale complexion, the animosity towards him. She'd had a brother.

"Nimueh was your sister."

"Congratulations. Thought you'd never guess." His face cleared, like the boyish happiness that came over a small child when he received his first wooden horse. A gift from one he loved the most. It made no sense whatsoever.

"If there had been any other way…"

"There is _always _another way, _Merlin. _Death should be more than just a last resort, it should be a non – existing option."

"She tried to kill me!" He cried out, calmness forgotten while he remembered all that she had done to him and his family. _She_ has been the embodiement of evil and coniving practices, of deceit and misplaced feelings of superiority. "She tried to kill my friends, and she took the life of one I care about the most. You can't expect me not to defend myself!"

"As I knew you'd defend yourself today. I wanted you to feel the most terrible pain watching your friend die, Merlin, knowing you were the cause of it." His voice turned to a higher pitch, to small, vexing mew. "Helpless."

Oh God. He'd known all along that somehow these things were connected, but to learn that Arthur's pain was just for this man's amusement and as a punishment meant for _him_, was too much. Tears stung in behind his eyes but he would not let his opponent see his weakness. It would give him an advantage that he did not deserve. His hand shot out before he made a conscious move to do it and he cried spells into the air.

The boy fell backwards to the ground.

Arthur

Seeing Merlin in action was the most surreal thing he had ever met in his entire life. The force with which he defended himself and the unthinkable thing he'd done to save his friends from pain, was incredible. It was as if someone had swapped his friend with another who looked just like him, but who fought like a lion and roared like a beast.

Of course, Arthur had caused a fair share of death himself in battle and in some ways, what Merlin was doing was no different than his own actions. The only difference was that he wielded a sword while Merlin used a weapon of an entirely different order. Something he had always, _always _been taught was evil.

_Nimueh._ Her name was unfamiliar to him but when he regarded the boy with full intent, he saw remarkable likeness to the woman who had trapped him in the cave, who had left him there to die. Had Merlin really killed her to save someone else? To save…him?

Blazing fire shot through the air, countered with a light so clear it reminded him of ice. They met in between them both and created the most magnificent shield. It was pierced by the hellish red flames for only a second, a small hole between the two streams of magic, until it made one of them falter and crumble to the floor. Arthur cried his name while he fell and for a minute, it seemed Merlin had heard him. His eyes widened slightly, as if he realized something…and it made him stronger and brave. He leapt back to his feet and reacted.

Others would call what followed the battle 'blessed silence', but it was not. For one, it seemed his cry _had_ reached Merlin and was still – after more than three minutes! – in the process of fading, the remnants of it still to be heard. Besides that, there was a hum in the atmosphere, a presence that pressed against his chest.

"I know you're out there." Pearls of sweat were glowing on Merlin's brow through the pain he had suffered, the blood that seeped from the hollow in his chest just beneath his heart clearly enough to make him faint. Yet he would not leave, he would not return home, before these words were spoken. "I can feel you."

"Is _this_ who you sent to test me?" His lungs filled with air to strengthen his cries and the fact he was still breathing, was something, at least. "If you _ever_ try to use Arthur again to get to me…" his voice drifted off. "When you hurt the ones I love, I will do the same to you." The words sounded choked, pained. A small murmur. "Nimueh and her brother are clear proof of that."

"If it's _me_ you want, then FACE ME! Don't ever use him again." Merlin looked lost after this tiring rant and he nodded to pull himself together. _There, _it said, _that's it._ "I'm going home now," he concluded. "And Arthur had better be alright."

Arthur

If he had ever doubted Merlin's intentions upon learning of his magic, he had been wrong – and he had _done_ him wrong. The words he'd hurled at whoever was out there was more than enough proof of his loyalty, it was more than could be imagined. Especially when it was so clear Arthur could decide Merlin's fate when he realized the biggest secret anyone had ever had to keep. Had he been terrified every step of the way, every second he served the prince?

He would give his life. For him.

Arthur turned to his side, his eyes registering the pieces of paper that had once made up the letter he had torn apart. _Remember your promise_. His promise to stay alive until Merlin returned, until he had found a way to save the master he called a right royal prat. His fingers reached out to pick them up, but he couldn't…quite… get there, and his hand went limp at his side. He was alive.

Merlin might not be.

* * *

_Oh, please please please tell me what you think?? Pretty please? Cookies, cake and other virtual goodness in return!_

_Xo, as always!_


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